Hitherto unseen by man (well, with one exception as you will discover), the picture above is the only known evidence of our existence.
Just how did this come about? Well, my grandfather told me it’s all do to with a human called Nikola Tesla. In an unwritten chapter of his extraordinary life, Tesla decided to move to New York in 1884. During his trip across the Atlantic, his ticket, money, and some of his luggage were stolen. Then came a mutiny. In the confusion, he was thrown overboard, and hitched a life on a passing iceberg, which drifted into the Anarchic region. Imagine his surprise when he came across a herd of elk, antlers ringing with mystic communication! He stayed awhile, learning our ways, then trekked back to civilisation. He promised never to reveal our identity: he must have been true to his word, for no-one came to hunt us down, although we’re assuming he did a little reinventing of his own … humans seemed to catch up with our technology rather fast.
My ancestors continued their gentle life, until a fateful morning last month when I was out foraging for lingon berries, dodging the odd lemming or two. And they are odd. Trust me. Anyway, I headed further up the mountain than ever before, and suddenly, my antlers began to vibrate … but it was not elk matter that I heard. No! It was like an avalanche of noise and hash and trash and spam and things called tweets.
Now, I like a tasty snack, and I admit to a little bird-watching myself, but what is going on? This is my elkenquest ...